Growing the Write Way

I’m totally open to new possibilities – for ideas, visions, and learning something new. I am totally open to the possibility that there can be a transformation in my life. I am totally open to the possibility that I can meet new people. I’m totally open to the possibility that doors can open that I can’t even see. (Thank you, Tzipora Harris, for introducing me to these concepts.)

I don’t have to travel the road alone. I don’t have to envision all the results. I simply need to start down the road, work on my faith and trust in G-d (those of you who know me, know that this is my Higher Power; choose your own), and be open to possibilities.

What adventures and new vistas await me?

photo by SL Henkin

What else can I say? It’s the first anniversary of my husband’s passing. Our custom is to light a candle in memory of the person who has passed from this world. I lit a bee’s wax candle – it’s pretty and has a nice smell. Bees remind me of gardens, which remind me of Herschel.

The premise that our lives can change in a moment is very real to me. I mulled that thought over several times this year. It’s real. In the matter of a few moments our lives changed on 5 Kislev 5770/21 November 2009. I became a widow. Herschel went to another world.

May the memory of Herschel Avraham ben Simcha Yosef be a blessing.

It’s almost a year since my husband, Herschel, passed away. The anniversary of his passing is this coming week (according to the Hebrew calendar, which follows a lunar cycle). Tonight I feel as if I’m out of my body looking down at me moving around. Am I really living without my husband? Am I moving through life on my own? How did I make all those major decisions this year? 

I don’t believe it’s really me. Then I look in the mirror and recognize the face looking back at me. I know this woman. However, she’s different from a year ago. She does look older; hopefully a bit wiser, stronger and more centered.

It’s almost a year. Hard to believe. Thank you for travelling this transition with me.