Change


The Back Story

In May 2017, I attended the STC Summit. I expected the keynote speaker to focus business relationships. Seth Mattison’s content surprised me. Yes, he covered business relationships. Yet I heard tips about personal relationships. Seth targeted the key to building relationships: Clear, honest communication. With a prerequisite: Activate a mindset, actually three mindsets.

Vintage Telephones

Vintage Telephone, Pixabay: Alles

The Mindsets

Be Intentional

  • I want this relationship.
  • I want to communicate clearly.
  • I want to support this person.

Be Interested

  • Ask open-ended questions so you can learn about the person.
    • Seth’s example: What do you like to do when you’re not working?
  • Listen to the answers.
  • Repeat ask/listen; dialog grows.

    Man Standing on Stones

    Pixabay: jingoba

Be Present

  • “Be where your feet are.” (Seth Mattison)
  • Get away from devices and other distractions.
  • Focus on this conversation.

How do we snap into these mindsets?

  • Deep breath in
  • Slowly exhale
  • Focus

Before each conversation, I try and ask myself:

  • How can I be intentional, show interest, and be present?
  • How can I help shine this person’s light?*

*“Everyone shines given the right lighting. You want to be the guide for the right lighting.” (Susan Cain, Quiet Revolution.)

She sits on the soft colorful cushions and stares at the

White clouds, dotting the baby blue sky.Blue Sky with Sun

Soft yellow light peeps out from the pristine clouds

And streams into the quiet spotless living room.

 

The only sound is the hum of the refrigerator,

And an occasional fire siren on the street below.

She could put on music; she can’t select from the endless possibilities.

Instead, she sits in the quiet.

 

It’s not like this in most of her friends’ homes.

There’s boisterous laughter and rowdy kids

Running through the houses joyously singing.

In her home, she sits in the quiet.

 

“Everyone is alone at some point in their life,” she’s heard.

“How do we use that time?” The speaker described options.

None of the choices fit her.

The Fifth Question* hangs in the air: What should she do with the quiet?

Sunlit View Blue Sky

**

*The Pesach (Passover) Haggadah has four questions. This person has an additional query.

I originally intended this blog to showcase my writing and how I could use the technique to grow. At times I described my life visions and the type of writing I wanted to focus on. All along, I focused on my craft.

In the past year, I learned more about the business of writing. Through online groups, classes, and webinars, I explored ways I could take the craft I love and help others. I’m jazzed when I create content people can use!

Enter a new direction: My business website, Content Clarified! There, I write, develop, build, and edit content.

Come visit Content Clarified. Check out my Services and stay connected!

**

I plan to continue posting on Growing the Write Way, staying true to the original idea—Musings about Growing through Writing. Thanks for traveling the road with me!

Painting Lesson #1

I wanted to paint without focusing on a specific subject or even color scheme. Glenna Rosansky thought I’d enjoy experimenting. First I learned leaf printing. I painted watercolor on the back of a leaf. Then pressed that side of the leaf on the cold press watercolor paper. I chose soft colors and contrasted with vibrant colors. To add some depth, I used an ink pen. I loved experimenting with the media, combining nature and man-made paint. I relaxed during the process, placing the leaves gently on the page. I enjoy looking at the colors, shapes, lines, and design.

 dec-2016-leaf-printing

Painting Lesson #2

In the following session, I learned two new techniques: Wet-on-wet and crinkled plastic wrap. For wet-on-wet, I sprayed water on the cold press paper and then dropped color on the water. Then waited and watched where the color went. I turned the page, and the water flowed down or sometimes to the side. The water didn’t always go in the direction I thought it would, or wanted it to.

Next I painted thick color on the paper. Of course I chose some of my favorite shades—purple, green, blue—and added some yellow for contrast. I crumpled a piece of plastic wrap and pressed the wrap on swabs of wet color. I discovered that I got different designs if I pressed with my fingers than when I pressed with my knuckles or side of my fist. And then I could use the remaining paint on the plastic wrap to print a light design on the paper. There’s not a right way or a wrong way; there’s not one way to do this technique.

jan-2017-wetonwet-plastic-wrap

What I Learned from Painting

My day sometimes turns out like my paintings. I have a schedule that I plan to follow. But something comes up that I don’t expect and I change direction. The day may not turn out like I expected, with all my action items checked off. Yet I can still look back and see that I was productive and the day was beautiful.

There’s not a right way or wrong way to create the action plan for the day. Try one process to create an action plan. Relax with the process. Be open to opportunities of learning new techniques.

How do you create your action plan or schedule? Share your process in the comments!

**

Paintings (c) Sherri Leah Henkin 2016, 2017

 

 

Sometimes I don’t know whether or not I can complete a project. At times, I doubt my ability to write a new article. There are times when the mountain of action items just appears plain overwhelming.

And I want to give up. Why even start?

I worked hard to hear my higher voice encourage me: “You CAN do it. Take one small action!”

As I’d start the action, the lower voices (Why are lower voices in the plural? There seem to be so many of them!) clamored for attention: “Oh really? What’s one small action going to do? Just give up! You know you won’t finish.”

Most times I’d plod methodically through the tasks. Eventually, I finish the project. Sometimes, I put the project on hold.

Recently I heard Eli’s* father describe his young son’s attitude. Eli battled cancer valiantly for four years. No matter how hard the treatments were, how he felt, how many times he had to stay in the hospital, Eli never gave up. He implored others to also never give up. When someone many times his age asked for advice, Eli told this to person to have a never-give-up attitude.

I now envision Eli with his bright smile telling me, “NEVER GIVE UP!”

**

*L’ilui nishmas (for the elevation of the soul of) Elimelech ben (son of) Menachem Mendel Malkiel Gradon.

Client work, personal writing, socializing, studying…lots to juggle. My schedule shows back-to-back appointments. Some reminders conflict with appointments. And some tasks don’t even make it to the calendar! Ooops, when can I do laundry?

Which action do I take first?

The true question: What are my priorities today?

I shut off the ringer and close down the email. Breathe. Calmly, I look at my action list and calendar.

  • Let’s get a bit more centered—perhaps some spiritual work. Priority 1.
  • A meeting with Client A that requires prep. How much prep? Determine that and since it’s a meeting, this activity becomes Priority 2.
  • Throw in some socializing or a fun activity. How long? I think I have an hour…at the end of the day. Although I’d like to assign the activity Priority 3, I really need to defer.

And so it goes. I look at the action items and due dates. Have I figured enough time for the activity? I weigh the pros and cons of taking action now or pushing it off. What are the consequences to me if I push off an action? Can I negotiate a due date—even with myself?

action-list

I still haven’t learned to juggle real balls in the air. I have learned to juggle proverbial balls and enjoy the process!

Me: What kind of work you like to do?

Client: I’m not sure.

Me: Do you have any favorite hobbies?

Client: Sure—but how can swimming become a job?

Me: Ahh…that’s a challenge. Have you ever dreamed about what work you’d like?

Client: No. Why dream? Isn’t that unrealistic?

Me: No. Dreaming expands our mind. By letting our mind wander, we can creatively brainstorm ideas.

Client: Really?

**

YES! Long after I wrote Goal Getting, I realized that we need to dream before we identify a goal. Dreams expand our minds; they also spur us to action.

My client might need to make some smaller dreams into goals before she gets to the core goal—what work she wants to do.

Dream

Let your mind go—from the practical “I need a job”—to the exotic “I want to vacation in Hawaii every year.”

Ask yourself, “What do I want?” Jot down whatever comes to mind. Let that list sit a day or so. Then…

Pick a Goal

Review your list. Ask yourself:

  • Does an item jump out and say “Yes, do me first!”
  • What common themes or characteristics show up?
  • Could I make a small dream into reality now?
  • What do I enjoy doing?

Pick one item, perhaps a small dream, and start there.

Action Steps

  • What tasks do you take to make this happen?
  • Do you need someone to help with any of the tasks?
  • Add due dates to each task—that will keep you accountable.
  • Create an action list so you can tick off those tasks.

Visualize Success

Visualize what you will look like when you reach the goal.

One of my mentors used to remind me to “Keep your eye on the prize!”

  • type up the goal in colorful creative fonts OR
  • hand-write the goal using vibrant markers
  • post the page so it’s in front of you—in your workspace, kitchen, den…

Create a Visions Poster visions poster

  • gather magazines
  • cut out pictures that are colorful, match your dreams and goals visions poster section
  • choose a cool colored poster board–or settle for plain white
  • glue the pictures to the poster
  • hang the poster in a prominent place (I use my fridge!)

Celebrate Success!

  • join with friends or family for a festive event

What action steps do you take to create your vision?

**

Photos © Sherri Leah Henkin 2016

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