The title is prettier and softer in Hebrew – ain meeleem (no words). I don’t have accurate words to describe the feelings since my father’s passing. Somehow “sad” and “pained” sound hollow. “Tragic” doesn’t describe the circumstances under which he passed. Yes, I’m “unhappy” – to put it mildly. “Unhappy” also sounds hollow.

“Heart-breaking” is close. I hurt.

I miss him. I can’t call him Thursday night to wish him “Good Shabbos”. I can’t share the development of my presentation for an upcoming conference. He won’t be at the upcoming family events and enjoy his family.

I need to learn to communicate another way, and hopefully bring merit to his neshama (soul).

Really – ain meeleem – there are no words.

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May these words be a merit for my father, Yoel Meir ben Simcha.

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